Dear Love, I Miss You

I’d like to share with a letter I wrote to Love a while ago now. I hit a low point due to an interesting relationship that ended and a way I got through it was writing letters to the emotions I was feeling and the emotions I missed feeling. I encourage you to do this too, for me personally, it was an amazing coping mechanism.

Dear Love,

You’re not around as much anymore. It’s hard to find you in things these days. I used to see you in everything, everyone. But now? You’re gone. I think she took you with her. Every time I looked at her, I saw you staring back at me. But I didn’t tell her. I didn’t tell her that with every minute I spent with her, laughing, crying, messing around, I watched you grow bigger and bigger. I should have told her. Because now she has moved onto someone else, she took you with her. I miss you more then I miss her. I want to find you again and sometimes I think I do, just for a moment. But I’m mistaken.

Even before her, I saw you. You were there. You existed. As my connection grew between Dan and Lyndsey, you grew too. But again, just like always, as they decide that you didn’t exist anymore and they could never find you again, they decided to leave this place and take you with them.

I hope to find you again. I hope one day I meet someone, and there you are, waiting for me. I want to feel you grow; I want you to never stop growing. I hope I can watch my child be born and you standing there by my side, vowing to me that you will never leave me again so that I can raise them properly, giving you to them each day. I want them to grow up knowing that the best gift I ever gave them was you. Every single fucking day.

I hope to write again one day saying I found you. I miss you.

I read this back and I lightly cringe haha, but then I remember how shit that period of my life was and all I want to do is speak to my past life and tell him that life gets so much better, he just needs to wade through the darkness first to get to this place I am at right now.

Remember, hope exists, you just need to look for it.

Don’t Stop